Insectoid Sentient Messengers

Insects are probably the most over-looked animals, but I believe they are just as aware of us as we are of them.  Some people when they see an insect they become frightened, they're first instinct is to kill it.  Sometimes that insect is frozen in fear, or it tries to escape, on a rare occasion they attack... but what if that insect hadn't sensed your fear?


Spiders

One day earlier this month, I was running a bath.  There was a pale yellow spider in the bathtub, it scared and surprised me.  I turned on the water thinking that she would sense it and move to higher ground, but she just sat there, her legs twitched, but wouldn't budge, I thought she was a afraid, frozen in fear just like I was of her.  I decided that I couldn't do any harm to her, nor could she harm me.  I grabbed a roll of toilet paper and I placed it in front of her.  She jumped onto it and I transferred her to the window sill, where she immediately hopped off and scurried away.

That same night I dreamed of a giant hairy tarantula, as big as my head.  I was terrified in the dream, surrounded in darkness, just me and the spider.  As it watched me, my fear subsided and I held out my hand.  It crawled onto my hand, and I watched it, feeling the spiny hairs/cuticles of its legs on my skin.  It crawled up my arm, finally coming to rest on the crown of my head.

I believe that I am going through a series of transformational processes, which began in March of 2011.  I think the tarantula with its legs covered in touch sensors sitting on the crown of my head, was asking me to allow myself to be more sensitive to my environment and the incoming transmissions from the Universe, as opposed to shielding myself from them, to which I am initially predisposed.  I woke up with a new appreciation of spiders, but if I ever see a giant tarantula in real life, I'm still running.

Yesterday when I woke up there was a small black spider on my bed post, it startled me because it was jumping around inches from my head.  I sat up in bed and watched him.  He crawled up, and then down, then he hopped around for a bit and did it again.  I remember looking at the way the light reflected off the bed post and thinking he must be confused and lost.  I got up, grabbed a sheet of paper and held it out to him, he jumped on and I carried him to the window.

I spent a good portion of the morning meditating on the combined experiences.  I read some animal totem/symbolism descriptions (check out this link - spider symbolism), but it was very important to me to understand how these creatures related directly to my experience.  I checked out Wikipedia for some insight into the habits and anatomical functions of spiders, and reflected on how I felt during my experience.  My initial feeling each time was fear, followed by the desire to assist them on their journey.

 The first spider, in the bathtub:
Yellow - creativity, protection, intellect, positivity and clarity.  Also associated with fear, i.e. "yellow-bellied coward" and caution. 
Bathtub/water - purification, transformation, renewal, emotions


"Spiders... use hydraulic pressure to extend them [their limbs]... As a result a spider with a punctured cephalothorax (head and thorax fused together) cannot extend its legs, and the legs of dead spiders curl up.  Spiders can generate pressures up to eight times their resting level to extend their legs and jumping spiders can jump up to 50 times their own length by suddenly increasing the blood pressure in the third or fourth pair of legs." - Wikipedia

Spiders use the water in their bodies to move, much like emotions generally motivate us to action, but fear often results in inaction or paralysis.  

Second spider, jumping on my bed, possibly confused by the reflections of light:
Black - transformation, healing of misunderstandings
Bed - the bed is where we are most vulnerable

"Most spiders have four pairs of eyes on the top-front area of the cephalothorax, arranged in patterns that vary from one family to another...  which... are only capable of detecting the direction from which light is coming, using the shadow cast by the walls of the cup...  On the other hand jumping spiders' secondary eyes have no tapeta (reflects visible light through the retina). Jumping spiders' visual acuity exceeds by a factor of ten that of dragonflies, which have by far the best vision among insects; in fact the human eye is only about five times sharper than a jumping spider's. They achieve this by a telephoto-like series of lenses, a four-layer retina and the ability to swivel their eyes and integrate images from different stages in the scan. The downside is that the scanning and integrating processes are relatively slow." - Wikipedia

The jumping spider uses it eyes to navigate, but reflected light can cause confusion.  Naturally he would run and jump in circles.  Confusion often causes us to make choices and take actions that are ineffectual, resulting in little or no progress.   Just as fear may lead one to inaction.


Prior to these experiences and comprehending thier significance, I carried around a lot of fear and insecurities, I could not move forward.  A lot of changes are occuring in my life right now.  I cannot say that all of my fears have magically vanished, but being receptive to the messages of the spiders helped me to find strength, to rediscover the love and generosity of the Universe, which is omnipresent, providing us with the nourishment needed for growth.  Fear is like a shadow that blocks the rays of sun light from a growing seedling.  However, keep watching because that seedling will keep growing, stretching to reach the light. 

Some spiders eat houseflies...

and some spiders are eaten by mud daubers...

To be continued...



7/17/11 :  I want to add that when I held out a bridge to the spiders, once they hopped on, they didn't move until I stopped in front of the window.  I feel like its symbolic of my present experience.  Patient observation, knowing when to make the right move so that I don't waste energy or fall off my path.